This blog is pretty new, and almost nobody has heard of it yet, so there hasn’t quite been enough questions about it to be able to justify calling any of them frequent, per se….

But there’s certainly a lot of questions a person could potentially ask about this blog, so…

Here’s a bunch of them.

Ahem. I hereby proudly present…

THE MILLION WORD YEAR’S POTENTIALLY ASKED QUESTIONS PAGE

Q : So what’s the deal with the blog, anyway? What’s the big idea?

A: Here’s the elevator pitch : I’m going to write a million words in a year.

Q : A million words? A MILLION words? Seriously?

A: Yes. Seriously. I, Michael “MegaWordMan” Bertrand, being of deranged mind and flabby body, do solemnly swear that by the end of the year 2010, I will have written one million words of completely original content for the very blog you are reading. Amen and pass the keyboard, brother.

Q : Um, isn’t that like… a lot?

A: Yes, little Timmy, it’s a whole heck of a lot.It might even be several hecks of a lot. We’re talking a multi-heck lot here.

Q : How much is that per day?

A : One million words divided by three hundred sixty five days gets you around 2740 words a day. Adding a few for safety and to make for a cooler sounding number, I’m aiming at 2875 words per day. Every single day. For an entire full complete calendar year. Oh yeah.

Q : Good Lord man, WHY?

A : Because I’m one craaaaaazy motherfucker. :) Seriously though, it’s an exercise to force myself to write every single day and thereby develop my writing talents, my author’s voice, and my finger muscles to their fullest extent.

Q : But why so huge a goal?

A : Because I’m one craaa…. wait, did that already. Because I’m the sort of person who needs big crazy dreams in order to stay motivated. Sensible, modest, easily attainable dreams…. yeesh. Fills me with boredom and disgust just typing the words. Who gives a crap about easy dreams? I’m tired of staying home. I’m going big! Ya hear me world? I’m out of my cage and ready to rock. Oh yeah.

Q : Is that the only reason?

A : Well, admittedly, it’s also totally a publicity stunt. Some crazy guy says he’s going to write a million words in a year? Seriously? OK, this I have to see. At least, that’s what I hope. And hey, you’re here, aren’t you?

Q : I’m only here because I’m your close, personal friend.

A : Sure, sure. You’re a sharp and jaded consumer of Internet verbiage and would never fall for some cheap publicity trick. By the way, that wasn’t a question.

Q : Yes it was! I mean…. was it? I mean… um… what… makes you think that wasn’t a question?

A :  Never mind. Let’s move on.

Q : What kind of things are you going to write? What sort of things will make up those million words?

A : Damn near anything. Poems, essays, diary-style blog entries, polemics, short fiction, short short fiction, incomplete fiction, legal fiction, graffiti, manifestos, reviews of whatever it is I’m reading or playing or watching or hearing from the voices in my head (hear that guys?), reactions to news stories, funny pictures with captions, bizarre freeform experimental clam recipes, and maybe even a limerick or two. The only limitations to content are that it has to be new (not something I wrote before), original (not something cut and pasted from other sources), and hopefully at least somewhat interesting for people living outside my head to read. And that’s most of you, right?

Q : Can you just write a whole bunch one day then take the next day off?

A : For now, no. For one thing, to get ahead by a day, I’d have to write nearly 6000 words in one day. Oy. It’ll be fun enough to get my 2875 a day in without trying to do THAT. Plus, for now at least, I’m trying to get myself into the habit of writing every single day, no exceptions, no loopholes, no weaseling out of it. So for now, there will be no days off planned no matter how far ahead I get. Just means I might hit the million word mark a little bit earlier.

Q : Why so strict?

A : Because I have a highly flexible and creative mind which works especially well when it’s trying to figure out a way to get out of doing work. Give it an opening and it’ll escape. So, no openings, no loopholes, no excuses. I make my daily allotment of 2875 words every day, period, end file.

Q : Is this the end of the PAQ?

A : Yes. But watch this space… I might actually get enough questions for a really real FAQ some day!

Q : Oh yeah?

A : Oh yeah.