The Million Word Year

One man. One blog. One year. One million words.

Posts Tagged caption

I can’t think of a caption for this pic

Mar 3

Posted by MegaWordMan in Captions, Links | 1 Comment

Fox with his tongue out

But it’s so darn cute and sassy that I had to post it.

I thought of captioning it “Fox response to Fox News” or something like that, but that would be obvious and lame and bad.

So I am going to throw it out to you wonderful people.

What is this adorable fox commenting upon?

Is he making a statement about a certain thing?

Is he commenting on society today?

Is he just being silly?

Or is it just a hot day? :P

What do you think our vulpine friend has on his fluffy little mind?

Tell me in the comments!

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A day in the life of a dick

Feb 2

Posted by MegaWordMan in Captions | No Comments

You know, being a dick isn’t easy. You always need adjusting,  you’re incredibly sensitive to damage, and you pee out of your head.

And then people go and do something like this.  Check out item 3.

080900cardio

Cardio dick boxing? Really, people? Got bored of using your hands? Thought boxing wasn’t homoerotic enough yet? Needed to find a use for teeny little boxing gloves?

This can’t possibly be safe. Dicks are for making love, not war! Your penis is a precious gift, capable of giving much pleasure for your whole life.

You really shouldn’t go dicking around with it.

And if you do, you’re going to end up with one battered and bruised Little Friend. You’ll probably need some serious TLC for it, probably some sort of soothing cream applied by a priest to ward off evil… but who would do such a thing?

annointing of the dick

Oh, right. The Catholics! They have a whole office for this sort of thing. After all, need to anoint your dick before it can enter the rectory.

Maybe it’ll all work out after all!

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A simple test

Jan 28

Posted by MegaWordMan in Captions | 1 Comment

As a public service, I’d like to offer you this absolutely free eye test.

Simply take a look at this image, and tell me what you see the first time you look at it.

Answers, and how to interpret them, to follow.

a is for

The correct answer, is of course, a serif capital letter A with two dots added to the upper left corner.

If you saw that, congratulations, you are a normal, well-adjusted citizen, the kind that makes up the strong and sturdy backbone of a sane and orderly society.

You’re also probably very dull.

But if you saw anything else, something perhaps a tad suggestive, you are clearly a sexually deviant pervert and just the sort of person who gets illicit thrills from out of context cartoon panels and giggle like schoolboys whenever they hear the words “asinine” or “cockatiel” or “pussywillow”.

Welcome to the club. Here’s your membership card, the keys to your locked, and your password to the private porn server. Enjoy!

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You’ve gone too far

Jan 26

Posted by MegaWordMan in Captions | 1 Comment

bloomers

Look. I know how it is. You’re the florist/nursery in a small town. It’s a fun and enjoyable business, chatting with the little old lady gardeners all day and working with your hands on your beloved plants. You’ve integrated into the local community as one of it’s local “characters” and everybody knows about the nature of your relationship with your “friend” and “business partner” (you know, the one you also live with in that big old Victorian house you got for a steal because it needed a lot of love?) and nobody says anything about it.

But as wonderful as your small-town picket-fence life can be, sometimes you crave something just a bit more. Something a little naughty, something a little cheeky, something a bit “out there”. Something to remind you that there’s life outside the sleepy little world of a sleepy little town.

And then it comes time to make the flier for that week. Uh oh.

Because this time, you’ve gone just a bit too far. You’ve gone past cheeky, through naughty, and into creepy. Your cute little joke is now making people sort of uncomfortable around you. Not that anyone thinks that you’d… well, not a little GIRL anyhow, tee hee.

Still. Might have wanted to think that one through there, Pete.

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Please Recycle Your Metal

Jan 22

Posted by MegaWordMan in Captions | 2 Comments

recycle your metal

Only in this way can we be sure we have enough metal for generations to come.

Please do your part to make sure our children do not have to face the horror of a future… without metal.

Because that would be lame.

Dog lame. Totally lame. Swimming in a vast sea of lame-osity.

Do it…. for the children.

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This thing here.

Jan 16

Posted by MegaWordMan in Captions | No Comments

the cursor kite

Yes. That thing.

That thing that the man has.

I MUST HAVE ONE.

It’s just so beautiful. So simple, so elegant, so pure in its serene surreality.

I’d love to fly it in a wide open public area, and make people wonder if they are seeing God’s cursor and whether they are about to get double clicked, or worse, dragged into the recycling bin.

And merely flying it would not be enough. I’d have to try to make it look like it’s clicking on things somehow.

Maybe slowly follow a low-hanging cloud to try to make it look like I am click-and-dragging it.

Conspire with some friends at twilight to make it look like you’re clicking the lights in their house on and off.

Try to time a seeming “click” perfectly with the Noon Gun.

The possibilities are mindboggling.

And they would make me so very, very happy.

Because I’m a weird man.

And an artist.

Well, same thing, really.

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When Geeks Breed

Jan 15

Posted by MegaWordMan in Captions | No Comments

when geeks breed

You know, I just plain love my fellow nerds. They’re my people, my commonwealth, my tribe.

And one of the most wonderful things about being a geek these days is they let us pair up and breed.

You’d think they’d realize that if they let us mate, we’re going to raise an army of hyper-intellectual second-generation ubernerds and take over the world.

And the first step, of course, is things like an AT-AT baby stroller.

Or, well…. this.

when geeks breed 2

Awwwwwwwww! Babies… it’s perfectly legal to dress them however the hell you want.  Fantastic. :)

“What? He’s warm, he’s safe…. let me have this. ”
“Well, OK, but take that Jabba the Hutt outfit off his sister.  That can’t be good for her. ”

Almost makes me wish I was heterosexual. But we fags don’t get babies. We get cats.

Our poor, poor cats. “Here kitty…. c’mon, it’s not an outfit till we add the hat and gloves!”

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I hereby present : The Tribble Cat

Jan 15

Posted by MegaWordMan in Captions | No Comments

startled stribble cat

Seen here in all of its amorphous glory, the Tribble Cat is a rare species despite its prolific rate of reproduction. Many theories have been put forth to explain its scarcity, including poor breeding practices, certain inherent genetic deficiencies in the breed, and the difficulty in properly sexing a creature when you can barely identify the head.

It should be noted that this species does not normally wear the expression of blank, numbing horror seen above, but well, just ask yourself where that vet’s left hand is, exactly.

But I digress. Of all the explanations put forth to explain the Tribble Cat’s scarcity, to me the most compelling reason is the breed’s unique life cycle. For you see, the one pictured above is merely a kitten, or possibly larva would be the more correct term. When full grown, Tribble Cats look more like this :

startled stribble cat fully grown

And frankly, at this point, they’re just way too damned scary to fuck, even for other Tribble Cats.

Hello 911? Give me the police. Yes, I’d like to report a robbery. Someone jacked up my cat and stole its legs again. Yes, I understand. No, it didn’t have a car stereo or any valuables in the back. Thank you.

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Interesting parking job

Jan 15

Posted by MegaWordMan in Captions | No Comments

had to be a woman

Look, I know it’s wrong. I know it’s the new millennium and all, and this sort of thing is very not-PC, and we really should be working towards peace and harmony for all of humanity by now, but…

Damned if I didn’t see this pic and immediately think “Had to be woman driving. ”

And you want to know why? It’s the damage the vehicle must have taken during this. Men are just as capable of being distracted, stupid, clueless, or just plain wrong as women.

But men have a strong instinct to avoid doing things which damage their vehicles. To a man, his vehicle is an extension of his penis. And as such, he’s just as keen to avoid damaging it.

Women, it seems, lack this basic instinctual connection, and hence, they end up in situations like the one above.

Basically, if you see an accident that was clearly caused by someone doing something recklessly stupid that any sane individual would never try in a million years, it was probably a man driving.

But if it’s something like this, where you just have to scratch your head and boggle as you try to comprehend the bizarre chain of thinking that could have lead to it, it’s probably a woman.

Those are basically the odds.

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Caught in the act!

Jan 15

Posted by MegaWordMan in Captions | No Comments

come closer little boy

Yes, yes… come closer… and closer… soon your power will be added to my own… I will devour your soul and all your powers, all your strength will be mine… that’s it…. just a little longer….

What? Oh hi Mom. No, I’m not doing anything to the cat. Honest!

Next time, Mister Fluffems. Next time.

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